Getting the cold shoulder in bed? Maybe there’s a problem…

If you find that you initiate sex most of the time and that sometimes when you do, your guy comes off as being less than interested, it could be that he’s got a sexual problem that he’s simply avoiding. It could be a lack of testosterone which is making his libido nosedive, or he could have severe performance anxiety, or he could have erectile dysfunction and just doesn’t want you to know.

Here are some ways you can help rev him up for a steamy sack session and how to let him know you’re available to talk if he’s ready for that.

1.    Keep in mind that men are not always horny. He really could just have a low sex drive (unrelated to a medical problem) and enjoys spending quality time with you in ways other than sex. If this is the case, then there’s nothing wrong with expressing to him that you feel a little strange always being the initiator and that he should make sure that whenever he IS in the mood, he should please feel free to take the reigns.
2.    If he’s got a bad case of nerves or performance anxiety, then try and set the mood just right so that he feels like he’s in control, but that the situation is still relaxed. He could just need a little self-esteem boost to assure him that you’ll be satisfied no matter what.
3.    Certain medications could be reducing his lust factor, leaving you feeling high and dry. Urge him to see a doctor who may be able to prescribe alternative medications that won’t effect his testosterone levels or sex drive.
4.    If he has erectile dysfunction or some other sexual dysfunction, it’s important that he knows that you know that it’s not his fault and that you still think he’s manly and sexy. Going through the symptoms of ED can be extremely painful emotionally and psychologically, and he’ll need your full support. Offer to do research online about ED drugs like Viagra, Cialis, or Lovex (three good options), or to visit a doctor with him.

Support, stroke his sexual ego, and let him know that you won’t take whatever is bothering him personally – as soon as he begins to talk about what’s bothering him, things should begin to improve.